Every glance is another admiration its just something about anything you do. I don't want to ever lose this feeling of love for you. Its warm like a winter morning by the fireplace drinking hot cocoa snuggled in that warm furry blanket. Like holding hands while looking into the stars with a cool summer breeze with our feet buried in the sand. This feeling is like every wow moment in a lifetime all at once and I don't ever want it to end. Sex in its completion beyond its aroused climaxes could never compare to the awe that makes my heart dance in your presence. Even in your absence with just the remembrance of your face is like the infinite numbers between 1 and 2
Nothing else matters but me and you. To Make something authentic from a place of love to reveal the brilliance within it is forever eternal and ever lasting Love.
We put strings on our acquaintances then call them friends stringing them along like puppets.
Tightening the rope as they grow never wanting the real.
We want puppets that feel how we feel,
love what we love,
agree with every decision,
move like us and listen.
Not like us but for us more like by us,
to buy our affection by doing exactly what we want.
Puppeteers to the masses to be puppets for the masses
Keep checking for ya homie and watch em rise to the top.
Got that hustle in his blood so he never going stop.
he Started in the dirt like a seed breaking through.
yeah that boy faith like mustard ain't no playing ketchup dude.
CEO of the boards got his stamp on the world.
People's choice is his voice under pressure like a pearl.
Thats why they clam up when they have him in they presence.
He the H.N.I.C. like a King to these peasants.
Got to talk behind his back cause he two steps ahead of yea.
Challenge on the table but ain't nobody standing up.
Second to Lord war for Love on his Shoulder.
Going heavy on these bars pushing weight like a Doser.
Big Homie of the homies getting money like he clone it
Hurricane raining dollars got dem little strippers drowing.
Keep it flooded on the streets quick get the paper towels.
Its a national disaster and he just getting out.
Did his Bit in the pin thats basic inmate training.
All he do is win that keep them losers hating.
He the source to the outlet that you never going to know.
The director to the play not the star just for show.
say he the real macoy schooling all you starving actors.
Take you as a joke so all you hear is laughter.
Not a blood nor a crip but he got a gang of money
say I kill you where you stand if you try to take it from me.
The air was cool and crisp with a summer breeze.
Just enough to move the trees
"a perfect day".
Some would say.
Me and my Love went for a drive
in my all white 325 BM
with the 17inch aluminum rims
and low profile Perrelli tires.
Fulfilling our desires we pulled up to a group of guys with content in their eyes,
but they knew what we wanted.
We handed them money and didn't want to flaunt it
we grabbed the drop and pulled to the next stop.
Then pulled off to the liquor shop. just around corner
one glass and two 22 ounces of Corona
already lit on marijuana.
Car filled with the aroma and the scent
new car smell.
I thought "man this day is going well".
Headed back to the house to try this new thing.
Glass pipe hard white sizzling with fire
then drooling pause
senses elevated to the cause
my heart is beating out my chest
my body is numb to the rest of anything except
the thoughts of triple x.
The soothing sensation of erupting stimulation
in one inhale
then it was over.
Just like that I will never again want to be sober.
Chasing the blast
The first day was my last day being me,
the last day being addiction free
That was a good day.
The truth behind the mask is hurt. With every Joy is an equal amount of desire to destroy groups of minds, groups of bodies, the reduction of smiles, and the increase in mayhem, increase in violence, increased in intense beatings, either my own or others, because behind the mask is a desire for a judgement day, due to a severe self righteous concept that everyone else is just a enemy deserving nothing more than anguish, and fates fit for sinners. Sinners being everyone other than whom I chose because I know what's best, sudden death. The truth behind the happy little pushover is the continuous voices that has guided his talents and accomplishments for numerous years without acting on such desires of vengeful homicides only to satisfy the truth behind the daydream of demise and decay because all life is ungrateful and wasteful. No one cares about his pain. But the mask... The mask is his reality.
Can you see me in these words in the sounds of the airs as it ushers the oxygen combined with h2 in all solids and liquids?
Can you see me through the windows to my soul the ocular cavities that presents its messages to the lightless void between my ears?
Can you see these thoughts the vision of completion that is but isn't only my mentality?
Can you see beyond the vast layers of mask that covers the beauties that is the natural form of me?
Can you see the dancing rays playing with the darkness the red orbs orbiting my silhouette saturating the emptiness that is my caged reality?
Can you see my challenges the reachless heights of my deformities my effortless efforts to just be?
Can you see the beings behind the voices that operate on my decisions like a doctors precision incisions blurring my good vision to do righteousness in this surgery of my life path?
Can you see me spearheading the separation of science and math the maniacal unachievable fact in this statement because clearly there is a division like light and time?
Do you have vision to see beyond the negative presumptions created by your own personal reflections and prejudmental prejudice. Do you see I am you and everyone else is me?
Can you see our similarities?
Can you see that when the power of love overcomes the love of power that we can find peace?
I was born Elijah before I became human but can you see?
Noticing that they kill the positive people and let the demons run free?
What is the evil eye without the images you repeatedly show clearly?
Open your mind and ...See beyond the fantasy.
We see you with your nappy hair
Soup cooler lips and big nose breathing air
America loves your style so great for entertainment
Especially when your blood spills over the pavement
We know we need you but you are not an equal
We need you like a mouse feeds an eagle
just a part of our ecosystem
Who cares about your dancing and African rhythm
We would be better off with you just working for free.
Oh we did that with slavery.
My favorite season is spring because of the delicate changes the Earth was designed to bring. The cold temperatures slowly fade the icy snow melts and the perennials begin to sprout in their splender. There is nothing more beautiful than rain fertilizing the fertile grounds like the males fulfillment to a mothers womb. The Earth is nothing more than an Egg awaiting growth the soil like a shell cracking only to let the leaves feed the yolk. Changes is nothing more than stages of life. When I was a boy I dreamed of my wife, and I always wanted kids. 6 was never enough but I achieved that dream. Now it all has changed just like the sprout I broke the soil grew to my predestined height bloomed my flower then withered away into this winter. Prison life is just like winter but just like the perennial I will wait until I can spring loose and yet again strengthen my roots. What a funny thing change is. Because my dream never changes. but does that make me insane because I dream of the same thing and expect different results? Then be shocked when its all brought to a halt. I rise up I fall I walk and I crawl from kneeling to standing tall to once again laying beneath the soil. Yet love stays the focal point through it all from a poor man to the royal in that never-changing life cycle and its stages that never change.
I no longer hear your voices and I haven't seen your faces since that day
my eyes closed and I arouse in a daze
I live in a endless repeat of the moments of my past
my constant is like one big flash
Back with silence from what I thought was love
This reality doesn't fit me like OJ's glove.
Up until now my emotions have been clear
Where am I and how did I get here?
Trapped behind fences charged by wires
Misery surrounds me and never tires.
Did I die and am I in heaven or hell?
and did these strangers around me die as well?
Free shelter, free food, and no more bills
Its too good to be true kinda gives me the chills
Where are all the people that I once known
and why these other people still using pay phones
Did I travel in time and cross some dimensional plane
So much has changed and it all seems so strange.
I can't hardly remember who I was before.
I'm so confused why are the locks on the outside of the door?
Where do they take those people after they get into a fight?
Some guy said "to the hole" now that doesn't seem right.
Does he mean to the grave for some sort of second death?
This dream sure is weird and one big mess.
As the living water swallows the whole of us slowly pulling us into its belly. We search for our voice but can only find the lack of air and panic. What a test we've got ourselves into. Why would we dive in? Quickly we seek our options as desperation settles, looking up into the light and our father's hand. What is this life? so many beautiful currents pulling and twisting us this way and that, filling every moment with a brilliance unfathomable to the spectrum of our consciousness. At this moment only in the struggle is it clear. We can see the light and our fathers hand within it, a clear path where only shallow water and small bubbles like parables block our reach but we fear his worried grasp and the salvation from our dire state, instead we search in the far distance something new and uncertain. We learn a new thing floating away from the familiar,
and in it we reach our motionless fate
lost in a strange and unnatural state
disconnected from what once gave us breath.
We're lost evolved past our natural laws consumed by our unnatural flaws forgetting our actual cause to worship Allah without a pause. Stuck on this factual thought I am G.O.D. Wait listen no need for booos ooohs and awwws.
I am Guaranty over Delusion, Growth over Destruction.
Gorgeous original Dedication, Gracious open Distinguished. I am Gallant optimal Daring, Grateful official Dashing always caring A Genitive opportunist Deserving nothing less than this Gospel of Divinity.
Yet in your mirror you see less than the Godly. A god not The God the only deity worth worship the great I Am who I am not the one not the three I Myself and Me. This unwritten trinity looking for gods heads not God's head the gods faces not God's face searching for a holy spirt when God is Spirit not an undead being all instead of believing in what has always been true. One God not three or two. Father and son together as one two necks four eyes two mouths with joker smiles. Sound demonic that's ironic sense satans would have you to believe lies a three headed god with 6 eyes.
Run lil man got the gun lick shots at cha
till ya body rot a full clip empty reload and double tap.
Rhythm and poetry but you still wanna rap.
Rock a bye baby time to take a nap.
Must be a gay and proud fell into the Gap.
Wearing your rainbow and I'm stay in all black.
Call me the grim reaper playing hide and seek with ya soul.
Eyes peek the spirits no stress while death pays the toll.
Ya mind aint playing tricks and I'm no ghetto boy bushwick with the scar on my face. Let less little vamp get a taste of blood.
Boom bye bye body boy. Smell the demise young rotten boy no shotta boy old hoppa boy old pooky with the rocks boy. Tick tock chop ya toppa boy with the choppa boy. I drop ya coffin like ya head was just a toupee for ya neck boy.
Futuristic and high tech with a laser I cut threw ya like a rifle with a bayonet
Love how it feel steel to cut threw skin bone and tissue
blood and guts in my hair is no issue.
The way it splatter is so official I like Death its not racist judgmental or superficial.
It affects all people within the institution an inmate has a debilitating injury prior to incarnation and because the lack of care staff find themselves in arguments losing jobs due to law suits money lost.
Please I'm asking for all hands on deck there are fellow inmates falling left and right. Wheel chairs with no wheels Guys with one eye no eye patch guys with broken arms no arm sling people with nubs and no proper nub lube. The time is now we can't keep allowing these people to overlook the lube less nub having eye less without patches. We must take a stand for those who can't stand and take a knee for those without knees. Open your ears for the deaf speak up for the dumb. Don't just sit we must be hands on for the nubs. So let us be handy for the handicapped. All jokes aside Core Civic doesn't care about inmate injuries.
One day we received a gift it was such a wonderful thing
A small little turtle in a bucket of water
Our family was overwhelmed with gratitude and we wanted the turtle to feel the same..
We decided to clean an aquarium fill it with natural rocks, plants and, small feeder fish, then placed it within.
We purchased turtle pellets from the local pet store and everyday we watched our turtle friend.
We thought this aquarium was an upgrade from the bucket but there was a sadness that you could feel and see.
So after some time we released the turtle from its glass prison to a local pond it looked back at our family as to say thank you and we never seen it again.
I'm in a mental penitentiary, inside these walls are closing in on me
I'm waiting for the day that I can open up these doors that block the path in front of me.
My mind is blank, no normal imagery, like blurry lines that's lacking symmetry.
Unfocused thoughts of drugs and alcohol and sex in prison, what has gotten into me?
Was freed to be tricked into slavery, outcast separate from society.
Metaphorical tragic death taken me from the true loved ones that I called my family.
How can they hold me if I'm G.O.D., mistreating me like I'm D.O.G.?
The unjustice system make our civil rights invisible under this G.O.V.
Go to school to get trapped into slavery, higher learning for debts and poverty
Cause your status is classified by your amount of money and your amount of property.
How can this be? What are they teaching me? We're still slaves, they said that was history.
The rich stay rich and the poor stay poor. You got to be kidding me.
I am your reality blocker, your internal pessimist. I ensure whatever you decide goes wrong. I keep the finger pointed at you. Because we both know you suck. I am not a whisper. I am loud and continuous voices. What is a good day when you’re not okay. I devour happy thoughts and drain all positive energy from my house and all those around. I am more than just a thought. Beyond an emotion I affect to the bone and all your action. I am very able, not a disability. It’s not me, it’s you. I’m king. I am depression.
The lack of ability, the absence of being able for a specific purpose according to the social norm. Handicapped or abnormally formed. Special. Weird. Helpless and or useless.
Depression, anxiety, mentally anguish, all because I can’t reach the limitless heights because my lack of feet if only I could step over these fences. This prison is only a disability to non-Giants and folks that fear pain and punishment. Would climbing through razor wire excite the one who likes to cut themselves or segregation torment for the introvert? Disability is only a Judgement in the eye of the judgmental. I’m fully disabled but the unknown is what I’ve known not to be able to do. Here is your ability Dis: I can do anything you can do better, I can do anything better than you.
I break and repair to take and remake to make anew something that was once old.
Like two sweaters into one hoody two pockets with one sting pulled tight to keep light warm in the dark cold
I fix things.
Wired to electronic pulses to wire to grounded faucets only to avoid electronic faults
It's like electronics talks to me... through you God.
I fix things.
unbroken no need to enhance
like factory to after market to change the stance
just for a glance
where is your satisfication in your creation
always sad never happy always changing
just to please my selfish devotion
to worldly looks appearance's and the crooks lust.
I fix things its a must.
My father planted his seed to make a tree
than you banzaied me
dwarfed me in your little pot twisted my arms with wires fashioned me to your choices then sent mockers to heckle your disfigurement
mental stressing punishment
all to your amusement then give me the ablity to fix things
unseen stranger with your whispering menace I'm still living so your not finished the testing.
the struggle before the blessing
the storm before the calming
the trail by fire the same with gold purifying and other precious metals.
I fix things.
like the rain for a drought or a friend to the lonely
Striving for contact from the only
source without strife.
My Lord what happen to my life?
I fix things.
still some repairs I can not see
I'm broken yet I can not fix me.
I awake in a daze in what appears to be a small room. everything is blurry and dark accept for light outlining what appears to be a door. I'm debilitated there seems to be some unseen force securing me to a hard surface. I'm only able to move my eyes and I can't see anything accept this lighted door frame. From the angle that I can see the door, it seems as if I'm pressed flat into the floor. The room feels empty and there is a Erie presence admits. Suddenly a pair of dark boots appears at the base of the door followed by a loud thud. The light begins to brighten, as the door slowly opens revealing the shadow of a humanoid figure. Panic fills the depths of my existence, as if ever fragment of my being had its own mind and knew that what just appeared in the doorway, was pain in its most corrupt form. A voice like nails on a chalk board mercilessly pierced through me with excruciating entirety. I attempt to scream in agony but it was like I had no vocals. "I want to show you something" the words seem to cut me from within as the figure appeared to be gliding slowly as it moved towards me, towering over me. My eyes begin to jitter seeking an escape "I want to show you something" It was definitely humanoid and all too familiar. Brown skin with a athletic build, I could tell this humanoid was not big but its presence felt as if there was an full battalion of blood thirsty Giants at the ready for the command to dismember me. I can see its face A menacing smile widens slowly showing more teeth as it grew to the point that it distorted its face. Its over sized eyes were wide open and locked on to me as it slowly got closer. A third eye began to open in the middle of its distorted forehead a green light flashed red quickly in the socket of the eye then closed just as quickly as it opened. I was stuck in a trance The third eye opened again stop and go, blood and vegetation, destruction and creation I seen growth and death. I seen my opposition my opposite Great Might and I was weakness not seeking power but seeking refuge from what was upon me like a straight jacket for the crazy. The image of the face flashed in an endless loop frightening me to the point that my blood turned into boiling puss waiting to erupt through ever pore. When I could take no more the face began to peel revealing its true form. Its was my children fading away into distant memories gone and forgotten its was my role as a father trapped in a enclosure being able to see release but still bond by time. The mask is just a suppressant to past memories and possible futures. Keeping me with a painful fear from contemplating them.
The past can not remain buried forever for death is a door way to truth. sleep the small death took me to a place where I seen you die a most violent death by the hand of revenge. Die over and over night after dream dream after night death with no fight every night oh the joys in feeling the sight tasting the smell of hearing your death not just any but specifically yours in a infinite cycle. Suffering just as we suffer just like me why didn't I kill you? everyday I ponder. I want to be you're murderer for every reality physical or meta just and unjustly allotted crime die please but never disappear just always appear dead for my satisfaction. die please die goodbye R.I.P. memories.
Henry stands in front of the mirror in a sweat trying empty his thoughts the walls began to close in on him. Each breath bleeds his inside his lungs fills with bloody pus drops of blood began slowly dripping from his ears the wells in his eyes fill. He coughs blood sprays upon the mirror. His focus gets foggy No! he shouts No I won't think I won't. Dogs began to bark in the silence He knows whatever he thinks will become his reality. A Darkness falls upon the room the unrelenting urge to run overwhelms him. No! Its all peace there is nothing to run from. He coughs once again bloody chunks of muscle and worms squirming appear to him filling the bathroom sink. but truly there is nothing there Go away! Nooo with one last deep painful breath he spontaneously combust the darkness quickly fades seeking its next victim.
When I vision institutional life what do I see? Where someone from the outside looking in would see murderers, rapist, alcoholics, thieves, drug users, drug abusers, drug dealers, evil doers aka villains like Dr evil, the enemy, or as the Godly would call us "sinners".Thrown behind fences, walls and cages like savage beast or mistreated pets to keep others unlike us safe from us. What I see, although some act or call themselves savage, I see a group of my peers. Some young some old all different races and nationalities. Fathers, sons, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, and nephews all different but the same. I see men who took what life offered them and made choices to get thru to the next day some choices made just to make it through the next minuet but we made these choices and we own it. We are the men who see life from all aspects we can taste both good and bad we have seen ugly and vile. We know what it takes to do what you have to do without excuses. Whether or not our choices was misleading, misguided, rash, indecisive, or just plan ignorant we learn and adapt. Not all of us get it, some get worse and continue to be lost and confused but before your freedom begins to make judgements.
What if you was innocent just living your judgmental life and all of a sudden your freedom was taken away? Could your bodies handle the improper bedding, the hard water, the below average food, the mental stress, or the reality of seeing and hearing about deaths from suicide and lack of proper health care. How about the strain it puts on the family, parents and children. Would your judgmental freedom be there to help you rise above this "Just Us System" and truly bring some justice if this position was yours? We are the future, believe that incarceration is like a womb preparing us for life like it was something new. We are molded into model citizens prepared to be positive and productive. Most prison stories aren't positive but if you believe in change then we together can be the difference.
Many say hunger is just a yearn for food but pleasure is my food so I hunger for you. My hunger is pleasure and pleasure is my passion too so in depth it is you my passion food.
The moment our eyes meet our hearts accelerate and the dance between our desires begin. Our temptations exceed our limitless imaginations with clear signs of perspiration. The hunger growl says I want you now I need you now to make the body say wow just our words allow us to feed it now. The thoughts of me exploring your skin with the moisture between my lips enticing your joys passionately inspecting all your curves patiently awaiting to fill your openings with ever increasing inch of me. Uniting us moment after moment with each emotionally penetrating physical movement. My thrusting only by command Harder faster deeper until you reached the multiplied climaxes. I just want you to awe before my ooze because the ooo's and ahh's continue cumming. We never want this to stop. Each glance is like the first time each kiss like poetic rhymes connecting us to the last. Mesmerized in possibilities as this romantic spell is cast. We still have not touched yet this present will soon be our past. The ultimate pleasures is anticipating these actions so vast.
This is just an appetizer before I'm tasting slappin and tapping that... Mmmmm main course.
When I initially laid eyes on you. You were only a illusion of incomparable individual from my slumber. Invigorating me like a school boy with a crush overwhelmed by my emotions I imagine many things but too intimidated to say. I become inert in your presence. Your impeccable beauty has me immersed in passionate thoughts of lust and desire. Your voice just as soft as your skin and your smell like a bouquet sweet and ideal.
I admire all that is you intrigued by your intellect and all around immaculance. From the ends of your hair to the tips of your toes your flaws less in my sight with nothing to improve. illuminating my darkest days with your radiant personality and irresistible smile. I itch for an intimate conversation about your personal interest. My feelings are intense inspiring words aimed to imprint on your heart. You've become an idol for my less than innocent indulgence. You are my subconscious fantasy incarnate the woman of my dreams.