I apologize for not being there to help you resist the demise of your existence,
It's obvious that the officers wasn't listening, as they pent you in that awkward position, as you told them that - You couldn't breath.....
It seems as if the officer was more concerned with the placement of his knee,
While exercising his dominance with one hand in his pocket, showing the ones who were watching that he is clearly, - Choking you out with ease...
This situation is still mind boggling to me, so I pray that your killing doesn't be in vein...
And that the next time a Blue collar makes an arrest for a White collar crime, that individual doesn't end up slain,
"George Floyd," may the world remember your name!
- My Letter 2 George-
MAMA YOU KNOW WHAT I MISS, WHEN I USE TO SNEAK UP ON YOU AND GIVE YOU A KISS.
YOU WOULD BE LIKE "BOY DON'T DO THAT I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR MOUTH HAS BEEN, GIVING ME THAT JUDAS KISS" YOU WOULD ACT LIKE I JUST COMMITTED A SIN.
THE WORLD BECAME A LITTLE BIT COLDER SINCE YOU PASSED AWAY, THOSE LESSONS YOU TAUGHT ARE STILL WITH ME TO THIS VERY DAY.
GOD KNOWS BEST, I MEAN HE HAD TO WHEN HE CALLED YOU HOME TO REST, THEY SAID YOU WERE ASKING ABOUT ME A THE WAY TILL YOUR LAST BREATH, AND FOR ME NOT TO BE THERE KEEPS THIS HOLLOW FEELING IN MY CHEST.
BUT GUESS WHAT MA YOUR LOVE AND WORDS WERE NOT IN VAIN, YOU REMEMBER TELLING ME "GOD DON'T LIKE UGLY" I FIND MYSELF SAYING THE SAME THING.
LOVE? YOUR LOVE WAS UNCONDITIONAL, THEY DON'T MAKE THAT LOVE NO MORE, THAT'S THE TYPE OF LOVE PEOPLE ARE WISHING FOR.
REMEMBER YOU AND I WENT TO MEMPHIS TO VISIT YOUR BROTHER, THAT WAS THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE ME AND MY MOTHER.
I STARTED TALKING ABOUT I MISS SNEAKING UP AND KISSING YOU, BUT GOD KNOWS IT'S BEEN EIGHT YEARS MAMA IM JUST MISSING YOU. REST IN PARADISE LADY!
A moment frozen, lapsed and stayed, a monument in memory,
As the television flickered a scene of togetherness,
It brought to mind only the distance no longer shared between you and me,
The air still and quiet brings to mind the revelry that sang in the breeze,
The darkness stark and shaded contrasts the light and how it played,
As fairies do, across your face and made radiance feel teased,
The sight of your smile chiseled in my mind to hold at bay sorrow,
Emotion the cure and also the malady but without,
life would be nothing and i wouldnt hope to see you in some beautiful tomorrow.
Lie to me and show me your truth,
curse at your friends, family, and lastly you,
for your inability to convey what's inside,
hate me and your colors show through
from your insecurities and intolerances created during youth,
weapons forged to keep away from you
anything you don't know, or understand,
and as a man no longer malleable and ready to take a stand
for your truth,
you would fight me rather than accept
that tools built for wars will only harm you,
to live for your wounds is to die by your scars.
One person, one moment, one purpose forever stolen, by ridicule and a sense of inferiority, where no evidence save a slight will ever be, but then was a time of confusion, amidst peers who could come to a conclusion without anything to go on but an illusion of what they don't understand, leaving bruises so deep the only evidence to show will be the reactions of the man in life's trials down the road, but for now only a social division is what will grow, and if nourished by the continued grief from any who would seek a better station for themselves, this boy will have nowhere to go but a bus station to well, any place that isn't a continuation of the same old story of beaten up for someone else's glory, for fear that he may be a better than them you see, if kept from the light no one will see, and if kept in the dark long enough that's where he will want to be, but the thing about the dark, is your eyes will eventually, be able to catch any spark of light and so you will learn to see, that in darkness the most beautiful thing is watching the birth of a star from that first glimmer until it rises up to be seen, by everyone in the light, where they accept it as a new thing, but they are only half right cause what they see, is only a finished product, not the real entity, so this boy helped by a family, of darkness who showed him how to be like the rest, chose to take the bus back to the light to show the rest of the world that in the darkness may be where your evils are, and although battered beaten bruised and scarred, the heights they achieved while you weren't looking are the ghosts and shadows of your brightest stars, but you in the light wouldn't know it and that's not to say that you are incapable of doing so, it's just difficult unless you are one curious enough and don't mind going outside too far, to find the beauty of the suffering who are learning to be stars, at the cost of your own social standing, for the bus fare to get there requires more than a penny, and all the money in the world will only get you to the landing, you will change and the people around you won't ever look the same, but that's ok because you don't want them to anyway, some will be brighter and some will be darker, but their light you will see and that makes it harder, not easier as you might think it would be, because you will note things that are terrible in those you once thought as kings, and things in those you were taught were no better than fleas, that bring you to tears and a sense of shame for thinking them unclean, and with this thought i leave you to question, what it really is that you have left and forgotten, in your life long quest to find a place for you to be a mountain, so none can move you, or ever prove you to be a less than them, while you gaze up at the stars who look like the lives that you stepped in.
You see us and say monsters,
but we say the same of you,
for judging without question
and encouraging monsters from your youth,
worse still You plead for answers from those
whos job is to bastard my life so you don't recognize
that you are the same as me,
news journalist and lawyers,
all cutting their teeth on my flesh
and refuse to let me speak so their venom unchecked
causes you to hate me,
but i am human and i refuse to die silent,
i won't let you ignore me,
i wont roll over and be quiet,
you all fight,
you all hate,
you attach yourself to labels
and say your not one to degrade,
but your station belittles others
by stepping on their cultures,
you want more for yours
and do so through imitation of those oppressors,
but the road is slick
and your driving blind,
unaware of where you came from,
only following your pride,
now off course with no turning back
you fly off the wheel
and hope jesus has your back,
as your words begin to bury
all you built on sand
as it quickly swallows itself
until there is nothing except what you damned,
you wish you could go back,
you didn't mean for this to happen,
it's not your fault you just wanted...
but never knew how to earn it,
or what to do
once You had it in hand.
To be a male governed by emotions
Engagin in situations that requires
A lil bit of patients
And since I don't believe in half steps
Laziness is instigation coupled wit frustration that's motivation for me to stay to myself
Now my heart stay on my sleeve which gives insight to my buttons
And I hate to lie
So am I lying if I don't say nothin
Not to mention I care to much
About something's and almost everybody
So I get hurt by something's and almost everybody
Wit my comprehension as far as reading
Can only be compared to gluttons and eating
Delicacies to my taste
But actions and words are the volumes that I'm seeing
And with all that I'm receiving
I'm noticing to some deception is as involuntary as breathing
Wit nothin new under the sun
My memory don't allow me to forget
And every moment with the things that I miss
Now this pride at times has blurred the lines of humility
Some people have to be asked more then once
But more then once to me is silly
And I ain't beggin for nothin
With the difference to me between beggin and askin is
Now with all that being said even spoon fed you can tell I'm far from average
Yet I have to continue to prove this and put myself in a category opposite of maggots
So are these strengths or weaknesses
But I'll leave that question up to you to answer it
Smells are a pet peeve
Beautiful smile and nice eyes
You ain't brush yo teeth
Halitosis is an oral disease
That's the result of constant neglect of yo personal hygiene
To be the coldest thing I den seen
But it smell like yo tongue spoiled
And that's just one of the smells
That make my blood boil!
With the fluctuations in the heat and you got halitosis of the feet
Like you was doin laps in plastic wrapped in aluminum foil
That make my blood boil!
How can you shower and immediately need to take one again
THAT GOTTA BE SIN!
Smells that make my blood boil!
Or the one that you catch on a breeze that could bring you to yo knees
Victoria's Secret Pure Seduction
Or the version they put out every spring
Quite as kept
That gone keep my blood
Or to be a gift to a prize
NOW THAT'S GONE!
Make my blood!
Wit lightheaded and dizzy spells compared to dehydration resulting in perspiration
Make my blood boil!
Like to walk in a room and get yo nose assaulted
Fabreez got a slogan
You NEED to wash it
Smells that make my blood boil!
You ain't showered in two days
And you keep putting on Cologne
If you got on the same socks
I know you got the same underwear on
And that's a smell
That's gone make my blood boil!
Fresh out the shower and you feel the way that you look
Gone make my blood boil!
They say two wrongs don't make a right
Yo spot is like a sauna
And you ain't take a shower before you got in bed that night
Them sheets got a smell
That gone make my blood boil!
So if smells are a major part of yo world then you understand where I'm coming from
They say cleanliness is next to godliness
And if yo smell ain't together
I know where you coming from!
With this thinkin when I was younger
I wonder why I wanted to be
So hungry for interaction
That even if it came in fractions of infractions
I just didn't want to be
Left in the deep dark recesses of my mind
And I den been this way for along time
Cause all I have left is me to deal wit dis pain
So how long must I remain
Holdin on to memories aided by conversations over the phone
In search of help for tomorrow
But I have to deal with today
In this place seperated from home
I have to continue to go on cause I can not not be strong
I'm just so
Wit thoughts of the flesh of my flesh blood of my blood bone of my bone
So well known
And I've had some success mingled wit even more regrets as I continue to reflect
So as stress compile on top of stress and I try not to flip or melt when I get upset
And be left
Cause I think about how I came so close
Or was I so far
One night wit no stars
All lies and no fact
No main course just snacks
As I feel like i'm losin my grasp on reality
Cultivated by vivid pictures when I sleep
Littered streets of casualties
So many bodies different versions all me
As peace and serenity flee and leave me
Now my intellectual faculties are struggling for understandin
Lost and abandon
Left out and stranded
As mental enemies continue to hinder me and just won't leave me
So I stay in constant communication wit the author of creation
Please don't leave me