Go not with heavy heart as you disembark from this journey we had together, and know that you have left your mark on our hearts and souls forever, in these places you'll be with songs played on strings while fond memories play in between, so goodbye and so long, go share with the world your songs, and may you too remember us fondly, for you brought change to a stage that not many would say was worth the effort to fix, whose twinkling stars now shine bright with a glimmer of light called life that you brought to it, so go with grace take the world by the reins and know you have earned all the love we have for you, and if in this vision of grand design we live in, we are meant to meet again, any of us would consider it a blessing.
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Everyday I wake up I have to wait to be released
Roll over and be patient Till my bunkie get done wit his morning ritual pee Just so I can brush my teeth Or vice versa He gottah wait on me I hear yall out there losin it Talkin and walkin in circles Well we been doin dat Except for we got uniforms tryin to get us to perform tricks Like jumpin through hoops and over hurdles Everybody comparin vices in a crisis We do that too with even less we can do And they keep up-in the prices People on Social Media having problems with Social Distancin Now if I had one I'd be in isolation wit even mo contact missin But it ain't nobody listen So I have to stay on my square wit no support Cause since court All I have is my mental consolation due to my Social Sentencing And on this path my Grandma past and I only get to hug my momma once a year On top of that I rarely get time wit my kids I'd love to get quarantined wit dem You think y’all strugglin’ This is my definition of a pandemic A.K.A The way that I live! POETIC! The first time when our eyes met and the world melted away, or that pause before we first kissed, the moment when first we twined, and after you gasped while on your face you wore bliss. The times spent staring at forever while in the arms of one another, and those times apart unable to look at each other. The moment of unspoken resignation when forgiveness bloomed and staved off our devastation. The hours spent watching peaceful smiles while you were asleep, knowing you did the same when you just couldn't catch a wink. But over time the silence grew old, and where once it brought warmth, now is nothing but cold. So in attempts to find heat tempers flare, arguments start over nothing, and no silence is anywhere, its landscape thrashed by acid and venom, leaving scars where things were to be left buried and forgotten. Now scorched and destroyed, what once was a garden of eden, is decided to be abandoned with no-one left to toil. As the dust settles and silence is restored, an understanding crosses between, knowing there is no going back to before, that our golden age has passed and there is nothing left in store, the hour of devastation passes and not a word about what could have been is spoken anymore.
The moral I bring is simply this, if you don't pay attention, life’s grandest moments you will miss, for all the noise and distractions in our world, it's the silent moments that are gifts, and bring more change than you will ever know I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MANY MEN CONTENT ON DOING TIME, WHEN THEY WERE CONTENT ON DOING CRIME, IT'S LIKE WHEN THEY WERE SENTENCED THE JUDGE GAVE THEM A "X" AMOUNT OF TIME, AND ALSO TOLD THE SHERIFFS BEFORE YOU LOCK HIM UP MAKE SURE HE SURRENDERS HIS SPINE.
SO NOW YOU CAN'T STAND UP, 15 20 30YRS IN YOU CAN'T MAN UP, THE WOMEN IN THE FACILITY WHERE YOU'RE AT THE KITTY KATS ARE TALKING TO THE OLD DAWGS LIKE YOU'RE A YOUNG PUP,YOU'VE BEEN NEUTERED YOU CAN'T LET THEM HANG BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE NO NUTS WHAAAT! BUT YOU'RE FAKING LIKE YOU'VE STAYED STRONG, WALKING AROUND WITH YOUR CHEST OUT LIKE WE CAN GET IT ON, EVERYBODY KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO GO HOME, SO QUIT ACTING CRAZY BEFORE YOU SCARE ONE OF THESE DUDES AND THEY CRACK YOUR DOME. YOU'VE LOST YOUR RESISTANCE, OLE GIRL HAS MOVED ON AND YOUR FAMILY IS SICK OF YOUR SHIT, IT'S BEEN 2YRS SINCE YOUR LAST VISIT, HUMAN COMPASSION YOU MISS IT, SO YOU'RE EVALUATING YOUR LIFE THINKING BACK TO YOUR CRIME WISHING YOU NEVER DID IT, SO YOUR ONLY HOPE IS A PAROLE BOARD DECISION, LAST TIME THEY SAID DUE TO THE NATURE OF YOUR CRIME YOUR PRISON STAY WOULD BE EXTENDED, AND YOU STILL DON'T GET IT. SEE IN YOUR MIND YOU THINK YOU'VE CHANGED, AND YOU MAY HAVE BUT THE ONES AFFECTED BY YOUR ACTIONS STILL FEEL THE SAME, YOU HURT THEM BAD AND THEY CAN STILL FEEL THE PAIN, SO THE CHANGE YOU SEE IN YOU THEY STILL SEE THE SAME, AND THEY'RE STILL HOLDING YOU TO BLAME,LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE PLAYING GAMES, AND YOU'VE BEEN GONE SO LONG DON'T NOBODY REMEMBER YOUR NAME. SO I GOTS TO GO PIMP BUT REMEMBER THIS WHILE YOU DO THIS BID, ITS EASIER TO MAKE STRONG KIDS, THAN IT IS TO REPAIR BROKEN MEN.... POETIC! The world can no longer neglect the fact of feeling my "pain".
As if being locked down in a 6 by 12 wasn't good enough. Now the world understands the everyday strains put upon individuals like me being stuffed in a confined space "wondering", what's 2 come next. With the possibilities of going insane... The tell-lie-visions only seem 2 make me become more and more vexed!! the media with a visual only makes my anxiety burst -2- the point I'm cursing at the walls as they continue closing in as if I were having an outer body experience looking at myself from outside of my own hearse You're out there in the world while I'm stuck in the worst!! But everyday I see something even worse!! than having 2 sit still in a big free world!! for just a little while... Meanwhile, your time will come 2 be physically and mentally exonerated "meaning free" by simply listening and making intellectual decisions that in the end will allow you all 2 see, That WE all make bad choices in life and should not be quick 2 judge a man simply by the historical tree where the roots have been planted, watered but only nurtured 2 a certain degree... Now that you have been a little bit more introduced 2 me, know that I'm not perfect, but just another casualty of this pandemic crisis here 4-u- in these times of need, and troubled times....... Peace & blessings... I LOVE THE FEELING OF WHAT I THOUGHT WAS POWER, BEING OUT OF CONTROL LIVING RECKLESS IT'S ALL ABOUT ME. IM A OUTLAW, GANGSTA, WHAT YOU CALL A THUG, I LIVE MY LIFE THRU THE OLD ADAGE I'LL RATHER BE FEARED THAN LOVED. IT'S ON THE FLOOR WITH ME, MAMA TOLD ME "I DON'T CARE DON'T GET YOU NOWHERE" BUT I WAS HALF DRUNK AND HIGH OFF DRUGS.
GUNS, RANDOM SEX, AND VIOLENCE, I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE LIFE, I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS PUTTING MYSELF THRU A SPIRITUAL, AND EMOTIONAL RIOT, SO MUCH SO THAT WHEN THINGS FINALLY NORMALIZED WAS GOING TO BE HARD TO QUIET. CHANGE IS NOT ONLY GOOD CHANGE IS GREAT, I DO THE RIGHT THING BECAUSE IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO, I SOMETIMES REVISIT THE OLD ME, BUT MOST TIMES NOT LONG ENOUGH TO ACT ON IT, BUT IT'S THE TIME WHEN MY OLD ME COMES THRU AND MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'VE FAILED TODAY IS WHAT I HATE. THERE'S ATTITUDE THAT STARTS OUT AS SMALL AS A MUSTARD SEED IN ME, BUT QUICKLY GROWS INTO A MIGHTY OAK TREE, COMES ACROSS AS COCKY AS ROCKY, AND DURING THOSE TIMES I FEEL AS THOUGH NO MAN ALIVE CAN STOP ME. SO WHEN IT GROWS I HAVE TO FIND PRODUCTIVITY FOR ME TO REMAIN STABLE IT GROWS AND I CHOPS IT DOWN AND MAKE A OAKWOOD TABLE.... POETIC Fresh looseleaf to which is bequeathed any breadth of information for later observation by any designated of whom the cerebric pliation is required. And did I mention that all of this syllabic commotion is solely directed upon that which is the topic of conversation, being what is the possible duration of any information and its proper alleviation, on paper. For what becomes of a new leaf is solely up to the writer, and their linguistic ability to confide in, a single piece of paper, with whatever tool they favor, their hopes and dreams and wishes. Perhaps a note to pull the strings of cardiac cords so music can ring on two hands entwined or, maybe a telling tale of how someone failed but miracles never ceased and found within or from a friend that they now have what they need to succeed, or perhaps it shall be that the paper will see the ages of time dash past, while keeping within what it means to sin and how to be a friend, so when finally found as a treasure i mound, a grateful people will take the greatest of care and ensure that there is nowhere, that such invaluable information isn't heard in every nation, throughout the world, or perhaps it will be made to sit and wait for this poet to make up his mind and decide to write down this poem. Because to a poet and pencil a new piece of paper is unlimited potential and should be treated as such as precious metal, for the value of a sheet of paper, that has weathered times river and avoided the shredder, is priceless when you consider that the information is never going to be less than what it was when written. So in conclusion I leave you with this note - if paper has the potential to change the world by being itself, what's stopping you?
Time spent, time stacked...Alone!
Drip drip, pit pat...Alone! Idle thoughts roam free What was, what use to be, chit chat...Alone! A passing breeze and I wonder why No lights in my sky, a look back.....Alone! Hope and dreams but what song sings Different tracks, same laps...Alone! So is this what it is or is this just me But Zae there is an the end to the tunnel, just don't believe that...Alone! POETIC! My style is different, called a lecture by a few,
but I do this when conveying a message, that I would like to leave with you. A mental tattoo to keep with you, usually outlined by a few words so you don't forget the message, because my mission here is to help a few, I just only do so in passing. So let my voice be the needle to my colorful words, and the canvas for the ink is your mind, So as I travel through this world, a colorful mindscape in my wake, is what I will leave behind. I am a luftmensch progeny, with riches no mortal can steal from me. Contemplation of existence has declassified reality, and nimble thoughts enable avoidance of gravity, that crushes others into lives of square conformity, while my mind climbs through the corydali realms of eternity. Home to Angels, Demons, Spirits and a choir singing "Holy Holy". Where the currency is wisdom and the closest thing to poverty is the student whose mind has yet to wrap itself into infinity, see, the contrast against our material infirmity is crushing when the baseline is Gucci, bling, sub-prime mortgages, and mini-bars raided during extramarital flings, versus universal direction and lessons so pure they are beyond chlorhexidine clean. That’s why so much effort is put into making us pay attention to, anything that will distract us from what is true, that being the real you that's buried under layers of grief, greed, and an identity built to fit in with those you value. All of it temporary, most of it sedentary, but with an open mind it all becomes elementary, and avenues of higher learning can get us out of the torturing. We just have to get up when our alarms start ringing. Hard to do though when the bed we made is so warm and comforting, but when you finally get tired of sleeping through suffering, and want to know why everything amounts to nothing, just get up and answer the door that's been knocking, to join the rest of the class, because on you they are waiting.
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