Young brotha, I feel your pain! I know how you feel, and what you’re feeling, because I went through what you're going through and I felt the same...
You lash out and at times you feel like you should crash out! You feel an emptiness, you feel a void, you feel alone in this world, and when your mother or grandmother can't be everything to you - you become annoyed... What you’re missing is a man in your life, someone to look up to, someone to follow, someone to set the trend, someone one that's the protector to the very end. You didn't know, you got a father who is in heaven, sitting on high waiting on you to call out his name, so he can direct your steps and clear the path, it's not hard if you picked up the Bible, started in the beginning took your time and read it to the end. You will see it's many that felt your pain, but every last one never gave up, because they had faith and eventually God made sure they made it to their end... I know this all so well, because the picture of you now is a picture of me then... No man in my life so there was no structure, I was headed for destruction, raised by the streets, headed the wrong way down a one-way; so I became a man before I was a man. Doing things that I never dreamed of, picking up bad habits because it became natural, never thought for a second that I was really intellectual... Finally, I came to my senses sitting in a jail cell, reminiscing about my past life, realizing that it was a bad life. Now that I have the power to change, and become who I was created to be, who God intended me to be, I can accomplish my goals and dreams because right now in the life I live I operate in faith, because at the end of the day that's the only power I need to make it through them gates...
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Never knew down the way, I was born off 131st, I'm from up the way,
We moved past Harvard, past Miles, straight up Lee Road, don't get it twisted where I lived we didn’t play. Three kids in a household the fourth lived away. Mom struggled without my Dad, working her ass off, I use to think this nigga was sad. I learnt life lessons from my mother, brother left when I was young, I took notes from the street's realizing it was ruthless so I found a cat that would sell a young me some heat... Wasn't hard to hide, we lived in the hood, so it went into the woods... I was always a hustler, my first newspaper route gave me the game...Slangin' papers from my bike, collectin' my dough later and sometimes at night... I never knew one day it would come in handy, until one day, I was slangin' nose candy... Last year of school, never seen so much money, I started to skip school... Right before graduation, I was in a situation, one band, two bands, five in my pocket, in the school cafeteria at a back table slangin' work, didn't know that the drop was wired, she was sent to work... When I got indicted, I was told to stay away, 500 feet from the school, I was treated like a stowaway.... Now I got one in my waist, six shot, duct taped waiting to run into the wire, not talkin' bout the show, when I run into her you guessed it she gots to go... Best friend got a girlfriend, that got a friend, asked her what she did, got busted with some coke, mommy and daddy turned her in, so now she workin' for them folks... I was black, she was white, we talkin' eighties baby, I didn't stand a chance, them folks told me to bust a dance. Sorry Son, I don't get down like that, took my chances, and ended up downtown, in the County seeing weird shit, did a nigga just walk past me wearing lipstick. Situations just got real, in the holding pen waiten to make bail, just threw away my life, servin' the jake, this is real life, what a helluva story, not told to get any glory... Damn, now we talkin' 13 years later it's a new case, same detective that set me up in "88"... I'm giving you a story, can't make this shit up if I tried, used a girl I use to date to lie about me on this case. She had no loyalty, didn't know she was really foolin' with a dude who came from royalty. My family line is so deep, datin' back to Jesus, yeah it's just that steep. As Maya Angela said, "Still I Rise" I hold on to that thought, because it gives me power, so when it's finally over, I'll thank God as I kiss them street's... My life was like a movie, doing things in life that soothed me.
The ride that I was on was fast, it lasted many years until it crashed. When the accident was over, some thought that I would never recover. I was a total wreck, and by man's sight, I should be dead. But thanks to God, he has another plan, and I was able to be repaired. I thank him daily for this near death kind of repair. It really was a total scare. Now I'm fixed and running again, and in his timing, I'll be back on the road again. Only this time, I will be sharing his grace, because of him, I'm still able to win this race... Nothing like being in hell the majority of my life.
Asshole C/O's acting like they know me, given the power to act like they own me... They don't even understand the complexity of my situation. Family has died off, most of my so called friends has ran off, kids have grown up without a Dad, I'm surprised how they turned out... They sit at their station, and wonder how we act the way we do. Never realizing they're less than 30 seconds away from being my neighbor. All it takes is one drink to many, driving home drunk as a skunk and not giving a fuck, a accident turned homicide now look what you then did, now you faced with a bid....But wait one minute, I forgot they never do wrong, "how in the hell did all this happen, and knocked me off my throne." See, they're just as corrupt with their actions, they swear they go to church, but the minute they walk away they cause God so much hurt. I watch them lie to us humans, the one's they call inmates, I listen, I watch, the scent I smell is called incarcerated! I'm from the city where smoke stacks pollute the air, making it's way into the atmosphere, in downtown, we traveled through the city I'm from uptown.
The pollution comes from melted steel, steel that's poured into molds, and molds that form some type of shapes, shapes that are rolled out, pressed out and ready to be shipped out. Shipped out, hitting the highway's, on smaller trucks traveling the by-ways. May make it's way to different cargo ships, it's a profitable business so I doubt if anyone will every call it quits. I mean Amazon is taking over, but is this the type of ground they really wanna cover. All over the world you see this product, all this talk about tariffs, will importing come to a complete stop, stopping is what I doubt, but taking a hit in our pockets might cause the quiet ones to talk. |
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