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no real answer by: e.l.

1/11/2020

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I have lost it, my life’s work, my image of victory, simply what I thought it to be, all because questions have no real answer.
I have not grown to my potential, trapped in body issues, so what? 600lbs putting food down, but I love me, never said before because... I can’t...
Can't let you live knowing me, knowing my weakness. Aware of tranquility in our separation. Peace when we're apart, I wish I were more knowledgeable about matters of the heart.
The heart interferes with brain matters and I don't understand its beating because... I can't...Can't understand breathing, the filling of lungs for cycled air, prepared from a cloud, maybe.
When I was a baby in the womb, I didn't need air or breath. I'm the controller of this body, but I don't realize what circulates the vessels in my vessel. Vessels in a vessel full of vessels, with no control of their vessels.
Life's a consciousness, trapped in a universe called a body, living in a vessel, living in a universe, amongst other universe, milky way small minded solar system, selflessly in peace with no other creation superior to the Hue-man Being but... I can't...
Can't seem to find my subconscious, or any other levels of self, but I have the nerve to believe I'm an intelligent being, that lost his life's work? My fleshy beating heart, created from my start, aren't I it and it me and my life's work its beat?
I'm the performer of its rhythm, and the producer of its sound but... I can't... Can't remove it from auto play, I can't control it in anyway. Its harmony unstable, shaken and damaged, corrupted by universal influenced bad habits, that abused poison' break ups, make ups and relationships of all sorts, peace was self, before this artistic choice, to make these musical energy waves that says "I'm alive", in this universal collection of moving lives, seeking only to once again be singular, because when we're together, we are one so... I can't...
Can't tell you what a couple is because questions have no real answer, and life's responses are indefinite.

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  • About
    • Christopher P. Dum
    • Halle Neiderman
    • Bengt George
  • Chapbooks
  • Get Involved
  • Mentor Program
  • Mural
  • In the Community
  • Photovoice
  • Lake Erie
    • Pieces
    • Authors
  • Grafton
    • Pieces
    • Authors
  • Elkton
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